create mandate

The Kingdom of Freaky Steve

“Original creative thought is the most valuable resource”

The Issue

A recent lull in legislation has sparked the fires of some bored politicians. After reviewing the back-log of constituent complaints, they’ve come to your desk demanding welfare reform.

The Debate

1. “The process ought to be made easier,” says Inga Matthews, picking the grime out of her dirty fingernails. “It’s so difficult convincing welfare administrators that I am actually a poor, helpless vagrant on the brink of homelessness! When you finally do, you get tangled up in all the red tape, and you’re lucky to see a dime. The government should just trust my word and fork over the KIRNancys I need to survive.”
   
   
   
2. “The current system is not very efficient, I’ll admit,” says Buffy Dodinas, a local welfare administrator and esteemed bureaucrat. “But we can’t trust these bums to manage their welfare aid. How are we supposed to help them help themselves if they waste their benefits on things like trashy clothes and cheap alcohol? We need more authority over how the aid is spent, it’s the only way we can be assured that it is used responsibly.”
   
   
   
3. “Get the free-loaders off the government teat!” shouts conservative activist, Dave Hendrikson. “The free-market system says that those who work hard will succeed. If these so-called ‘needy people’ would roll their sleeves up, lift a finger, and earn an honest living, we wouldn’t be bankrupting our country helping them! The only sensible solution is to abolish all welfare programs, and let the natural, capitalist process take place.”
   
   
   
4. “He has a point,” says popular political pundit Beth McGuffin. “There are a lot of people in the system, and some of them don’t really need to be there. The government should be finding these people jobs, so that our welfare system can survive and meet the needs of the truly impoverished. Of course, we’re going to have to spend a few KIRNancys to achieve this goal. But, what’s a little tax hike if it means saving our dying welfare programs and the people who depend on them?”
   
   
   
5. “Capitalism is the very reason why we need welfare in the first place. Laissez-faire policies would only make the problem worse,” argues political activist Roxanne Wu. “If the government would ensure that all employers pay their employees the amount they need to live – no more, no less – then the problem of providing for the poor would disappear.”
   
   This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

The Government Position

The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 5.

there’s something wrong with my mind little girl

reached the end of my time in this world

marshmallow apple cigarettes

mispoken words we regret

bridges kisses and the rain

can’t fake the message through the pain

don’t ever forget we really meant it

 nulls around us, blind and demented

don’t let them get you down again

someday i’ll be around again

but not now

savage brutallity

brief glimpse reality

but not now